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Faith, Faith and Culture

I want to be someone who…

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I remember the first week of my freshman year of high school, I was sitting in English class, and we were given a classic freshman assignment.  The assignment was to set 10 goals for ourselves for the next four years while we would be in high school. I’ve never been much of a goal-setter, but I knew what to put down on the paper.  So I wrote down what I viewed as the normal “successful” high school stuff.  I don’t remember all 10 goals, but I remember two of them: 1. Graduate in the top 10 percent of my class.  And 2. Become a starter on the football team.  I accomplished neither of these goals for myself.  For different reasons, of course.  There were factors in those that were out of my control like other people competing and natural ability limitations, but also, looking back, I am not sure those were really things that I cared much about, at least, I didn’t show it by my effort level.

When someone is growing up in school, the question adults often think to ask is “What do you want to do when you grow up?”  The answers that these awkward-feeling adults are expecting is a type of profession like doctor, firefighter, or teacher.  And so, depending on the kid, they either change their mind on this a few times, or some know from a very young age what it is that they want to do.  This changed a lot for me over the years.  Obviously I wanted to be a professional athlete for a while.  Get to play sports for a job? Make tons of money? Be famous? Sign me up!  I pretty quickly realized that perhaps for me, that wasn’t going to be a career option.  So I think then I said that I wanted to be a lawyer.  I did have quite the argumentative gift (My mom always says that if she said the sky is blue, I would say its not. That’s not too inaccurate… Sorry, Mom).  Then I realized that I thought talking to people was an ok thing that I could do, so when asked, I would always tell people I wanted to be a counselor.  Then very early on in college, I found that I wanted to do youth ministry.  And guess what!? That’s what I do.

When talking to a youth minister, some people may still ask the question, “So what do you want to do, really?”  At this point, I can honestly say youth ministry.

So I’m 23, and I think I have a ready answer for the “what do you want to do?” question.

But now, I, and I suppose every other person, have to ask the question: “What kind of person do I want to be?”  This seems to me to be a far more important question.  But this is a question that is much harder to break down into a list of goals, if you like making lists of that sort of thing.

See, we live in a world that is all about climbing up the next wrung of the ladder.  Our world cares about graduating at the top of your class from business school, our world cares about getting that next promotion, and our world cares about being able to afford living in the comfortable neighborhood with the comfortable car.  From a young age, we’re conditioned to want to associate with a certain crowd.  “Oh, you don’t want to send your child to that school.” We’re conditioned to not accept finishing in any place other than first.  I remember three times in elementary school that I was devastated because I didn’t win (2 spelling bees and a science fair).  We have accepted these expectations placed on us by voices other than the voice of God.  And some of these voices have even been backed up by scriptural references!  How many times have you heard Colossians 3:23 (context: Paul’s teaching for 1st century slaves) and thought that meant you need to work harder to achieve earthly success?

“Woah!  Slow your role, Michael.  The Bible is God’s Word.  Are you saying that we shouldn’t try hard at things!?”

No, that’s not what I’m saying.  What I am saying is that we should not pick and choose Scripture to enforce our desire to succeed in the eyes of other people.  Definitely work diligently in your jobs and in your relationships!

Ok, ok, so here’s my point: We spend way to much time trying to answer the question, “What do we want to do?” And we do not spend enough time trying to answer the question, “What kind of person do we want to be?”

I find myself in a season of life where that second question keeps coming up.  So I’m going to make a new list.  This time I’m going to pick 10 qualities that I want to aspire to be.  Maybe if you’re reading this, it will give you some ideas about the kind of person that you want to be.

*DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT ALREADY THESE THINGS ALL THE TIME BECAUSE IF I WAS, THIS WOULD BE A POINTLESS LIST.

I want to be someone who:

  1. always tells the truth.
  2. cares for the marginalized.
  3. is hospitable toward the outsider.
  4. seeks to gain understanding.
  5. is willing to be vulnerable.
  6. seeks wise counsel.
  7. responds kindly.
  8. leads by example.
  9. radiates patience.
  10. loves deeply.

 

-MC

Faith, Uncategorized

Perfect in Weakness

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If we live long enough we will experience something that completely wrecks our plans. We experience something that causes us to turn to God and ask, “Why?” Why did this happen? Why do we have to experience loss? Why can my will not align with Your will? In these moments we feel like we have nothing to give.  We feel like there is no wind in our sails.

We live in a world and society that is low on hope.  Everywhere we turn, we see things that communicate to us that we don’t measure up.  We don’t look like the people on television, we don’t feel like the happy ending of our favorite movie, and our lives don’t seem to be nearly as fun and adventurous as the people that we follow on Instagram.

We live in a world that scoffs at vulnerability and tells us that we must always project strength.  But if we live long enough, we learn that there are days where we cannot even fake it.  There are days where everything with us feels so wrong that we can’t possibly give people the impression that things are good.  What do we do then?

“Give your burdens to the Lord and He will take care of you.”         -Psalm 55:22

Sound simple? It’s not.

Time and time again, we ask God to take away our pain, sadness, and temptation, yet we still feel it.  We try to give our burdens to God, but everyday we feel more and more burdened.  It takes far longer to pass off our anxieties to God than it does to take on more anxiety.

But there is hope.  Whatever we are going through, we are not alone. Even when we feel distant from God, He is still there working for us.  Even when everything in our life feels out of control or messed up, God is there.  God is our provider.  We will ultimately be taken care of by the Almighty God.  And there are some pains, doubts, and fears that may never leave us, but God will still work in us. Paul speaks of something like this in his life:

He says this, “In order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Cor 12)”

God’s power is made perfect in our shortcomings, failures, and pain.  Often we may feel like we can only give a little, but God can do so much with our little. With little food, Jesus fed 5000 hungry people.  With little faith, God can move mountains.  We are fully known and fully loved by a good Father, who created us, and will do so much with what little we can offer.

Even in our deepest and realest pain, God is beckoning us deeper into a relationship with Him.  He wants to show His almighty power in us.

Let us share our weaknesses.  Let us be vulnerable and open with each other, so that God, in His unending grace, can take our brokenness and messiness and write a beautiful  story of love and redemption with our lives.

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Identity Crisis

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Looking back over my 22 years on earth, I see a lot of different things that I have done.  I also see the different people that I have been along the way.  Maybe that doesn’t make sense to you.  Let me explain…

Throughout my life, if you asked me to describe myself, my answers would be different based on what I was into in that moment, or who I was trying to be.  I remember in elementary school, I thought I was THE smartest kid in the whole school.  So, in order to prove my intellectual superiority, I entered into the 3rd grade spelling bee.  I studied a little, my mom quizzed me and whatnot, so I felt very confident going in.  Obviously, I was a little nervous, there was going to be a lot of people there.

*I take the stage behind the podium for the first word.*

“Michael, your word is museum.”

“Ok… m-u-s-u-e-m.”

“That’s incorrect.  The correct spelling is m-u-s-e-u-m.”

*I start crying as I walk to my mom.*

Well, that was disappointing.  Later one of my teachers said, I bet you’ll never forget how to spell that word, will you?  She was right, I didn’t.  Why do teachers have to be right all of the time?  They’re like moms, moms are always right.

So I was determined to take my rightful place among the top spellers in the land.  I entered into the 4th grade spelling bee.  I studied exponentially more.  My mom quizzed me a whole bunch.  I was ready.  I felt like Rocky Balboa before his fight with Ivan Drago (Rocky IV).  I glided through the first several rounds with ease.  This was my year, I just new it.  And it was down to me and my arch nemesis, Bianca.  This wasn’t the first time we had squared off, she was also impressive when it came to multiplication tables.

*I step to the podium*

“Michael, your word is collage.”

“uhh… (palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy) c-o-l-a-u-g-e.”

“That is incorrect.  The correct spelling is c-o-l-l-a-g-e.”

*I step back.  Bianca steps to the podium.*

“Bianca, if you spell this correctly, you will win the spelling bee.  Your word is banana”

“b-a-n-a-n-a”

*My heart burns with rage.*

I know what you’re thinking, totally unfair, right?  SHE SHOULD HAVE HAD TO SPELL COLLAGE!!!  I had been snubbed, yet again, by my imperfections and a broken system.  This was unjust to say the least.  To make it worse, my little brother Joel won the 2nd grade spelling bee in a landslide, then the 3rd grade, then the 4th.

If I actually look deeper at why I was so upset, I realize that these were not simple losses of spelling bees, they were losses of my identity.

Throughout middle school and high school, I tried to find my identity in other things.  I tried to find my identity in football.  The thing about that was, I was no good at football.  And in high school, I was injured most of the time.  I also tried to find my identity in being the funny guy.  You know this type of person, they have to be the funniest person in the room at all times.  But someone always got more laughs than me.

In college, I tried to find my identity in being all Christian author-y.  I read Donald Miller’s Blue Like Jazz and wanted to be just like him.  I started a blog – this blog – to show my skills as a writer.  I read Shane Claiborne’s The Irresistible Revolution, and I wanted to be just like him.  I started wearing bandanas to show how pacifistic I was.  I thought that being a pacifist was the coolest.

See, I was so busy trying to be all of these different things, that somewhere along the way, I forgot to be me.

One of my favorite quotes from the recent Olympic season is from Simone Biles (I know, you were expecting America’s new hero and role model, Ryan Lochte. /s).  In an interview, Simone Biles, darling of the U.S.A., made the statement, “I’m not the next Usain Bolt or Michael Phelps, I’m the first Simone Biles.”  It would be easy for her to feel some need to get as many medals as Phelps or Bolt, or to accept that she is another exceptional Olympic athlete who should be mentioned in the same sentence as those two icons.  Biles is a terrific athlete, and there has never been another like her.  Despite all of that, she is focused on being the best Simone Biles that she can be.

That is the point isn’t it!?  God has made us all unique and different!

We do ourselves and the Kingdom of God a disservice when we place our identity in anything other than being children of God existing for the redemption of the world.

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its parts form one body, so it is with Christ.    1 Corinthians 12:12

We are all differently gifted and blessed by God to serve in ways that only we can!  We are members of the body of Christ, created for a specific purpose, and together, God will do powerful things.

 

Peace and Blessings,

-Michael

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my.. I mean thy… will be done

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So I guess I would describe my current season of life as a season of waiting.

In my current situation, I have learned a lot about myself.  Waiting for things tends to do that.  See, when we wait for things, we often like to pass the time doing something to keep out minds busy about other things until the time comes to do whatever it is that we’re waiting to do.  Go ahead, next time you’re waiting on anything, see what you do.  I almost always pull out the phone.  That’s pretty much a go-to.  It’s safe, and strangely it has become completely socially acceptable to bury my head in my phone in the dentist’s waiting room, when I’m waiting on someone to meet me, or even at times when there is a lull in conversation.  I do not say this to condone my behavior, I am just making an observation as to something that I do that maybe you relate to.  ANYWAYS, the point is when we’re waiting, we like to keep our minds preoccupied with other things, as opposed to facing the strangeness and potentially awkward experience of waiting.  After all, what are we supposed to do?  Just sit and think?

Well by this point in what I would consider to be a prolonged period of waiting, I have pretty much exhausted all of my time-wasting options or gotten bored with them.  So now I sit here with questions.  Questions that I’m not sure I have a clear answer to.

For starters, when will this waiting end?

So you can better understand what I mean, let me explain.  I feel this calling to youth ministry, and I also feel a calling to do that as part of a church.  At this point, I want youth ministry to be my life’s work, and I need a church to support me in that; a church family to take me in and work with me to show the love of Jesus to teenagers both who are part of the church and those who are not yet part of the church.  I want to come alongside parents as they lead their children in faith.  So I’m waiting for a church to welcome this partnership.

So I am seeking these opportunities.  And I trust that God works in ways that I do not understand and cannot fathom, and I trust that it will work out for the best.  I’m also learning that the saying, “patience is a virtue” is true because virtues take practice, and patience certainly takes practice.  So I wait, and I have to believe that God’s time is better than mine.

Secondly, why has nothing already fallen into place?

The saying, “good things come to those who wait,” may be true, but it rarely appears to be truthful to those who are actually waiting.  To be comforted by this conventional wisdom, one must be hopeful about the result of their waiting.

I believe Abram was asking himself a similar question when God had proclaimed that he would be the father of a great nation, but all he had to show for it was an aging barren wife.  This question, if left unchecked, can cause us to do some rash things like how Abram slept with Hagar in order to conceive a son (Ishmael), perhaps to take his future and his family’s future into his own hands.  Maybe he thought this would in some way force God’s hand into sending his blessing through Ishmael’s line.  But God Almighty doesn’t always do what we think is best.  The Lord was planning something else, something that would go far beyond anything Abram could have imagined.  Through barren Sarai came a son, Isaac.  Through Isaac’s line, came Jesus of Nazareth, Savior of the World.

So maybe nothing’s fallen into place because though it was convenient, it wasn’t quite the plan.

And finally, when will thy will be my will?

For me, sometimes the hardest thing to pray is “thy will be done.”  Not because I don’t believe that God’s will is good and perfect, but because it’s not mine.  And I don’t feel like a necessarily terrible person for struggling with this because Jesus didn’t seem to have a particularly easy time praying this in the garden before his arrest.  Even Jesus, Son of God and member of the Holy Trinity had to surrender control to the will of the Father.  How much more so should I!?

To have God transform our will into His will, we must acknowledge that there is an Almighty God who created our world and that there is the Holy Spirit who is alive and active in our world.  We must also trust that God’s will is good for us.  And finally must pray that His will be done in our world and in our lives.  I think the latter of those is the more difficult for me most of the time.  I have to acknowledge that my life is not really “my” life, but rather that I am here on earth as an agent of the Kingdom of God.

We have to train every part of ourselves to surrender to God’s will.  We must pray that God will give us his eyes.  We must pray that God will indwell us with His Spirit.  And we must pray that God turn our thoughts towards him.

So yeah, strange times currently.  Life can get weird when you graduate from college.  I’ve learned that.  I want to leave you with a couple of prayers.  The first from Thomas Merton, and the second from Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.“

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Grace in the Gray

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Doesn’t growing up kinda stink sometimes?

Life used to be so easy.  There were no decisions to be made, or not many important ones anyways.  Questions of morality were so black and white.  Back when the words ethics, prejudice, and bias meant nothing to me.  That was a time in which following God was a decision, not a lifestyle.  There was an obviously correct answer to every question as well as an obviously incorrect answer.  Everything made sense.  The choices set before me were easy.  Eat healthily or unhealthily.  Do the homework or suffer the consequences.  Lie or tell the truth.  Every action had a pretty clear consequence.

But now I find myself swimming in a sea of gray.  Almost anything can be justified in my mind.  Any action can be supported by logic.  And the difference between obviously right and obviously wrong has become a lot of maybes.  All of a sudden, making decisions has become an intense debate inside my head.  Nothing is clear.

But as far as I can tell, this is just part of becoming who I am.

When I came to college to study the Bible vocationally, I thought a lot of things would get cleared up.  That more study of the Bible would lead to a more black and white view of the world and what happens in it.  It surely hasn’t.  The more I study, the more I realize how little that I know.  The more I study God’s word, the more I understand the vast spectrum that Christians fall onto.  Often I have heard people talk about the Bible as if it is something that anyone with a brain can agree as to what it says.  More often, I have seen people heatedly disagree about its truths. Truthfully, we cannot know for certain that our ways are correct.

So what can we do?

In the current age, we can live by faith.  We can live boldly in a way that glorifies our Lord.  We can lean on grace.

So often, we extend grace to others for moral stumbles, but do not extend any grace for genuine intellectual/interpretation differences. Is salvation dependent on perfect interpretation? On perfect understanding? On perfect obedience? If that were the case, we would all be lost.

So today, I challenge those reading this to live boldly by faith.

Hebrews 11 speaks directly to this topic covering many who, by faith, were used to accomplish the Lord’s perfect plan.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.  This is what the ancients were commended for.“  Hebrews 11:1-2.

Boldly following Jesus is something that the Lord will prosper, not punish.

Run after Jesus through the gray. Faithfully trust Him. Count on grace for the missteps.

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why the Church still matters.

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Today is February 11th, 2015.

I just ripped off two snapchats after reading a Christian blog post about why women shouldn’t watch 50 Shades of Grey.  I’m typing this out on a MacBook Pro with my iPhone 5s right beside me.  The world is at my fingertips.  I have Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, RapChat, Trivia Crack, Snapchat, and GroupMe so that I can connect with all of my friends at any time I want.  Life is good, right?

The accessibility to faith-based podcasts, blogs, books, and sermons is higher than ever.  I have worship bands like Hillsong United on my iPod, I have the Bible App on my phone, and I go to a Christian college where I take Bible classes.  There is no way that I can escape being a follower of Christ, right?

And with all this stuff that supposedly points us towards Jesus, who needs to be a part of a church?  According to most numbers (including Wikipedia), there are roughly 700 churches in Nashville where I reside.  Of these churches, many have phenomenal preaching, fantastic worship services, and some take place in really cool venues.  Many people in Nashville go to church, the majority claim to be Christians or feel some sort of tie to the Christian faith.  But how many are a part of a church?

I see a vast difference between going to church and being part of the Church.  In fact, many would argue that due to our great exposure to Christianity, we don’t have to even go to church to be a Christian.  God’s not counting our attendance and holding it for judgment day.  As long as we believe in God, pray when we need Him, and occasionally go to a worship service, we’re doing what is asked of us, right?  I don’t think so.  I have to argue that going to church or participating in the American Christian subculture makes us no more of a follower of Christ than going to McDonalds makes us a cheeseburger.

To me being a part of the Church includes many things, but a main aspect is the body of believers.  A group of people who take care of each other, keep each other in line, and pick each other up when their down.  Without my group of friends and family, life would be pretty rough.  These people are my church.  These imperfect people who deal with struggles, the same and different from myself, are invaluable in my life and in my walk with the Lord.  The Church is still relevant to the world today because it is made up of people who live in this world.

The early church dealt with the struggles of living in the world just like churches today struggle.  Due to the time period, they were very different, but still insanely similar.  When they couldn’t see God, they turned to pagan idol worship for comfort, pleasure, and security.  When we today can’t see God, we turn to money, lust, and greed for comfort, pleasure, and security.  The Church still matters in the world because it is in conflict with the ways of the world.  Wars break out, diseases spread, and shamefulness abounds while the Church finds itself in the middle of it all, often falling onto the wrong side of the fence.

The Church matters to you, me, and us because we need the Church.  We need those people to come alongside us and push us in the right direction, and those people need us in the same way.  The race of the Kingdom of God is not meant to be run swiftly or independently.  God has called us together for something greater that we could never imagine, and that is why the Church matters.

“If you want to go quickly, go alone, if you want to go far, go together.”

-MC

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Baby Dedications, the Body, and Car Mechanics

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This past Sunday, we celebrated a new baby that has been born into our church.  So, aesthetically how this works is the biological family of the baby + really anyone who sees it necessary and the elders of our church will come up to the front of the auditorium during the worship service.  One of our elders will introduce this baby and charge the church with doing all things necessary in order to bring this child up in the way of the Lord through Christian community, to which the church replies together, “We will.”  For a long time, I have thought about this occasional moment in our church’s service as something that drags it on longer and cuts into our class time following worship.  For a while in fact, I would not reply, “We will,” along with the rest of the congregation, not because I wanted to introduce that kid to “drugs, sex, and rock & roll,” as some might say, but rather because that’s a long-term commitment.  That baby is a baby.  It’s not going away anytime soon.  Being twenty years old, that is a life-long commitment.  Life-long… Shoot, If I wanted to be responsible for the life and upbringing of a child, I would just have a kid… Not really HAVE a kid.  Because, after all, there are a few things that need to happen first, or at least one thing anatomically… but you get the point, right?  I’m not locking myself in to a bunch of babies for life, I got enough to worry about on my own.  

Anyways, my thoughts on the matter have changed.

It hit me on Sunday that nearly 21 years ago, I was the baby being blessed from that pulpit. Then I realized the power in that.  For my entire life, I have been blessed by many of the people that were in that building on Sunday, and many others who have sat through those dedications in the past.  I look around at people who are like my caring aunts, goofy uncles, loving grandmothers, respectable grandfathers, cool older cousins, and not as cool older cousins.  The point is that those people who made that commitment 21 years ago have time and time again come through on what they said.  They made a commitment and are still in the process of seeing it through.  Oddly enough, the guy who had the most recent baby was my first ever camp counselor ten years ago.  So, you know what I did when the elder charged us with bringing this kid up in the church? I said, “We will.”

The church is not something that is linear.  It is like a cycle that is constantly overlapping.  Potentially, there will be a lot of babies born into the church before I’m gone.  But at the same time, as those people who have played key roles in my upbringing are aging, I now have a responsibility to them.  For example, one of my two grandmothers passed away in February.  For the past few years, I had watched as my parents took great care of her daily.  Two incredibly busy people, but they still worked tirelessly to give her the best quality of life possible.  Now, my family is in that process with my remaining grandmother.  I am so blessed to be around two great examples of faith and the overlapping cycle of the Christian life.  So, while I am still young and am being encouraged by the church, I have a lot to offer to its other members.  Both young, old, and middle, the church is a body.

“12 The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. 13 Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.

14 Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?

18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. 21 The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”

22 In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. 23 And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, 24 while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. 25 This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. 26 If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.

27 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.”

1 Corinthians 12:12-27 NLT

I know how cliche and overused this piece of text can be, but in all things that are cliche, there’s a reason for that.  Things are cliche because they are so useful and practical.  Let’s say that I am a thumb (I once had a friend describe me as a thumb. I didn’t know how to take it).  If I was a stubborn thumb and decided that I was only going to watch out for myself and do thumb things, A. I would not be able to accomplish anything, B. The rest of the body would be seriously inconvenienced.  So often we get caught up in ourselves.  Not normally in some evil way, but often we get so concerned about being stretched too far, or not being able to come through with something we say we will do.  Why was I originally super weirded out by pledging along with the church to bring children up in the way of the Lord? Not because I knew I would be a bad influence, but because I may not be around forever.  I may be somewhere else, and someday not know that kid from Adam.  But the pledge was not “I will do everything in my power to look out for this kid,” but instead “We will.”  On Sunday, I made that pledge on behalf of the congregation.  Am I currently a part of that congregation? Yes I am, but wherever I am, that church will still be looking after that child.  New people will come and go, but God’s plan for His church is forever.  God’s church is like a car, it has a ton of parts.  Sometimes these parts need fixed, sometimes these parts need replaced, and sometimes parts get added that have never been in the car before, but with the steady hands of a great mechanic, that car will run like new.  As long as we are holding to God’s steady hand, the church is going to keep trucking along.

We need each other.  Every individual person has something to offer. I have something to offer, and if you’re reading this, you have something to offer as well.

Much love.

-MC

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in the midst of… domestic violence

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Over the past few weeks, domestic violence has been an issue that has come up over and over again in the media largely due to a few NFL athletes and the league’s widely-believed to be mishandling of the situations.  So I thought this would be a good time to write what follows.

Domestic violence is wrong. There is seriously no excuse for it, and honestly, there’s not a whole lot of things that we can do to stop other individuals outside of ourselves from taking part in the vicious cycle, but there is something that we can do to affect the culture.  So, here’s a few ways we can positively affect our culture to potentially prevent this abuse.

Stop blaming the victims. I am sick and tired of hearing people say (especially regarding the Ray Rice incident) that the victim (usually female) should not have been doing this or that, and that nothing would have happened if she had just controlled herself. I was listening to the radio a couple weeks ago when a female caller said that she (Janay Palmer) was asking for it because she pushed him (Ray Rice) first.  A couple things: 1.Rice spit on her at the beginning of the police video. 2.That does not give Rice a valid reason for the haymaker that he threw.  There is never a reason to throw a punch at your wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, anything.  Seriously.

Set an example. Guys, we have been put on this earth to teach each other.  For twenty-one years I have watched my dad love my mom so much.  It’s not like my dad is a wuss or doesn’t “wear the pants” in the relationship, but my dad knows that God gifted him with something awesome, and he treats her like it.  Maybe I am spoiled (I probably am) in this way, but what if every kid growing up had at least 5 examples of a husband who treats his wife with respect?  What if people kept those vows they make when they get married?  You want to know why I feel like men should respect their partners? Because I have seen time and time again that success in relationships (marriage and other) starts with a mutual respect for the other person.  In the Author’s Note of one of my favorite books, Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller writes:

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.

How can anyone know how to love their spouse if they have never been around people who live that out?  Nobody learns how to play basketball by going into a gym and picking up a ball and trying over and over again till it works, at least, not anyone who is good at basketball has done that.  So, as men, we need to love our wives, mothers, and sisters, and bring those around who don’t have that example.

Take this issue seriously. For myself, this is the hardest section to write.  So often, I have taken lightly the need for female equality and the respect that they deserve.  Honestly, I think it is because it was never really an issue in my sight.  I knew that women were deserving of my respect, so these were obviously meaningless jokes, right?  Well, since then I have realized, both gracefully and ungracefully, that this is not really a laughing matter.  Not everyone is from the same sparkly background that I was blessed with.  To many in our culture, this is no joke.  *Writing to the world now as someone who needs much improvement in this way*: we need to better ourselves for the sake of the world.  Women have use to us other than sex, cooking, and cleaning.  You know that joke about how women should be in the kitchen, it’s not funny anymore.  Frankly, there are a lot of amazing, Christ-centered women out there who can kick my butt and probably yours too.  We should no longer write off the possibility that women can do things as well as we (men) can.  Who knows, maybe men will be better because of it.

Ok, rant over.  Now I’m going to bring a little scripture into play (after all, God’s word is infinitely more credible than I am on this matter). Ephesians 5:25-33:

…love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

A self-respecting man shows respect for his wife.  God has given us a gift.  We should love like Jesus loved us: giving up our lives for each other.

in the midst of the chaos… love like Jesus.

-MC

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COMMUNITY. WE NEED IT.

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So this summer, I’ve learned a lot. A lot about youth ministry, about life on the inside of a church, and a whole lot about myself. I’ve learned some of my strengths, that some things that I thought were strengths of mine are not quite to strength level, and I’ve discovered a lot about how I interact with people. I’ve also learned a lot about doing things on my own. Being away from home for a few months will do that. The more I have been on my own, the more I have realized that is not what God intended. God made us to be relational beings. From the beginning of time on this Earth, that has been evident.

 Genesis 2:18: “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

In Genesis 2, God was talking about a woman, but I think this rule applies in every case. Not just that every man needs a woman, or wife (in fact, I really feel like the church does a terrible job with singleness, but that sounds like a different thought for a different time), but that every person needs another person. AT LEAST ONE. Some people need more than that.

Luckily, I have found people here in the area with whom I have gotten to share in community with. Everyone, wherever they are, needs people who care about them, and people that they care about. I have been fortunate to find that here in California, and I am even more fortunate to have the awesome support system that I have back in Nashville. That is what I look forward to most about returning to my homeland in a week. If you ask, I would tell you that I’m excited for the fall semester to start. That doesn’t mean that I’m excited for the 8 am classes, the tests, the papers, and the absurd amount of books I’m supposed to read (which reminds me, I still need to purchase those). What I’m excited for is the opportunity to build on the relationships that have already begun and to form the relationships still to be created.

Acts chapter 4 lays the blueprint for the life of a church.

“32 All the believers were united in heart and mind. And they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had. 33 The apostles testified powerfully to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and God’s great blessing was upon them all. 34 There were no needy people among them, because those who owned land or houses would sell them 35 and bring the money to the apostles to give to those in need.

36 For instance, there was Joseph, the one the apostles nicknamed Barnabas (which means “Son of Encouragement”). He was from the tribe of Levi and came from the island of Cyprus. 37 He sold a field he owned and brought the money to the apostles.”

What we have is not our own. Living in community with others helps us realize that. It’s one thing to hold on to your possessions when you don’t have any friends who go without. We (speaking to myself here) need to be in conversation and in life with those who are in need. It’s easy to help our friends, not as easy to help those we don’t know.

Over the weekend, I got to hang out with an awesome group of guys. On Friday we hit up Santa Cruz and San Francisco on Saturday. These guys are like me – they’re not perfect. It was great being around 4 other guys for those two days. Yes, we were seeing awesome sights and experiencing amazing places, but I would’ve still had a great time if we had just sat in the living room and hung out for two days. The constant good-natured teasing and joking, the conversations only a group of college age guys have, and the comradery among us was just what I needed.

In conclusion, we need community. We need other people to care about. We need other people to care about us. But above all, we desperately need Jesus, or none of this matters.

ALSO.

I have a great friend, Drue, who authored a beautiful piece on his blog regarding this same topic. You should check it out if you’ve got the time. “I was created to… COMMUNE“

Also, I have grown quite fond of the band Rend Collective.  On their 2013 album, Campfire, they filmed a video on the making of their album and the community brought on by a campfire. It’s about six minutes long, so you should watch it if you haven’t. “The Campfire Story“