Faith, Faith and Culture

Enough Blessing To Go Around

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Over the last month or so, I have been listening to the Bible Project’s podcast series called Firstborn: The Last Will Be First. They do really great work if you’re not familiar with them – making layered scholarly studied of the Bible approachable and understandable for us regular folks. In this series, they’ve been talking through the biblical theme of The Firstborn, which, when closely examined, plays itself out differently than I would’ve thought.

Culturally in Old Testament times (and still today in some sense), the firstborn son was to be the one who was blessed with an extra portion of inheritance and was to take on the responsibilities of the family leader after their father died or lost the capacity to fulfill those roles. While this may be the cultural norm, God often operates outside this birth order rule when choosing who to annoint, bless, or carry out His plans.

In the very beginning, God creates those who will rule over creation last, not first.

God favors Abel’s offering over his older brother Cain’s.

God chooses a people through the family line of Shem, the middle of Noah’s sons, not Japheth, the oldest brother, or Ham, the youngest brother.

God blesses the world through Abraham’s second child Isaac, instead of Ishmael, his oldest son.

God turns Jacob (or Israel) into a great nation, not his older brother Esau.

The list goes on and on and on.

While God is doing this, we see struggle from those not initially blessed by God:

Cain kills his brother Abel.

Ham seeks to establish himself as the family alpha.

Sarah struggles with Abraham’s second wife Hagar providing a son first.

Jacob and Esau struggle over Isaac’s blessing for the firstborn.

In all of these stories, there is an underlying human myth that is causing these conflicts: That there is not enough of God’s blessing for everyone. If we don’t get it first, we might get left out. This lack of trust that they will be taken care of causes people to do evil in the world: take life and deceive, jostling for position to receive blessing first.

This myth of scarcity: That there will not be enough for everyone, permeates our culture still today. Even in our Christian communities. We draw lines explicitly and implicitly communicating who is in and who is out. It is completely draining to me how much of what I see online is Christians debating who will receive blessing from God and who will not.

Jesus entered our world proclaiming a new Kingdom, one devoid of cultural lines separating those who are blessed from those who are cursed. Jesus was spreading the news that whoever believes in Him would be blessed. There is enough for all, just believe and come into the light (John 3:14-21). We don’t need to jostle for position, in fact, like Jesus we can put others above ourselves. In this new Kingdom, the first will be last.

Somewhere along the way, we have begun to follow people besides Jesus. We have been convinced that there is not enough, so we have to decide who is outside the blessing of God. Now we spend way too much time arguing, debating, and condemning the world that God sent Jesus to save.

Jesus came proclaiming good news to the poor and the outcast. Let’s do more of that. There is enough.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.  Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.  This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.  Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.  But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.“
John 3:16-21

LINK: Here’s a great 5 minute video resource on the theme of The Firstborn in Scripture!

Faith, Faith and Culture

Practical Wisdom – Reading James Together

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Last night we had the youth group students over to our house, as we often do. We normally have a meal together and then have a discussion-based devotional. I love being able to have them over, but sometimes the discussion is more difficult than others. Teens these days have a lot on their minds. There’s the stuff that has always been on teens’ minds: school stresses, crushes, self-esteem issues, family angst, but now all those things are amplified by their awareness of everything all at once thanks to smartphones, the internet, and social media.

With all of that swirling around in their heads, its hard to want to dive deep into Scripture – actually, I don’t think its a lack of wanting to, but its a quicker frustration with not immediately reading and understanding well enough to have some thoughts. In our culture of immediacy, sitting and soaking a text up can be hard because we’re not used to doing those things.

Last week, we read Hebrews 11. I’m not sure we got past verse 1:
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for, and assurance about what we do not see.” This is a great piece of text, but it’s so abstract! It’s so easy to get caught up in the semantics (just the English, not even the Hebrew/Greek) and lose the point. So many words to define. And after that we have to think about what this means for us, examples from our lives etc etc. I know that last week was fine, good, and helpful because we were together in our home reading the Bible, praying together, and talking about our faith, but afterwards Madeline and I were kind of left wondering whether we had all really “gotten it.”

Contrast that with last night. We’ve been reading through James as a church, and this week we talked about James 2:1-13, so last night we read it and talked about it with our students. It starts like this:

“My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. 2 Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. 3 If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” 4 have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?“

After we finished this portion, our resident eighth grader blurted out: “That is the easiest to understand part of the Bible that I have ever read!” It was a beautiful moment. She heard something from the Bible and it made sense to her. So of course, we didn’t call it a night and all head home, we talked about it. Sometimes following Jesus isn’t nearly as hard as we make it to out to be with all of our meetings and word studies. Simply put: Love everyone. Don’t treat people better or worse based on what they have or don’t have.

I’ve really enjoyed listening to, reading, and talking about the book of James with our church family over the last few weeks, and we’ve still got a few weeks to go! If you want to read and talk about the Bible with your family – or you want to think about how Christians should live – I recommend James as a great place to start. It’s Christian Living 101.

Blessings!
MC

Book Reflection, Faith

Book Reflection: The Pursuit of God

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If you read my last post, you know that my reading of this book comes on the heels of reading The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer. A.W. Tozer’s The Pursuit of God has been a very fitting follow up.

The Pursuit of God is a classic for modern Evangelicals in the West, and it’s easy to see why. Tozer’s point: God is here with us, now, inviting us into a relationship. Because of that, the book asks the questions: why are we not taking advantage of that opportunity to commune closely with God? And how can we get there?

Perhaps my number one take away from the book is this: In order to move into the relationship God is inviting us into, we must acknowledge God in all the moments we live out: the big, the small, the mundane, the heartbreaking, and the joyful. In acknowledging God’s presence, we can give each moment over to God, aligning our lives more and more with God’s will, strengthening our connection with our divine Father.

What does this look like in practice? I tried to talk this out with our church’s youth group on Sunday night. I think the Apostle Paul encapsulates this idea well:

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

Our lives cannot be segregated out into different containers, God is with us in every instance. Whether we’d like to or not, we can’t escape the presence of God, as David describes in Psalm 139:

“Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.“

Just because we haven’t been making ourselves aware of God’s presence with us in every moment, doesn’t mean God has not been with us. So how can we pray without ceasing? How can we acknowledge God in our midst in the different things we do throughout the day? What I recommended to our students is a simple prayer as they enter school, work, etc.:

God, please be with me as I __________ today. Make me aware of your presence in each moment, so that I may give thanks for the good in my life and that I may be comforted and strengthened when challenges arise.

Perhaps the bit from Tozer that connected me instantly back to Comer’s book is the multitude of things that we must have surgically removed from our hearts, so that God can fill the space. These areas differ for all of us, but we can be so preoccupied with our things, that God’s presence seems like a foreign concept or a faint memory from long ago.

Perhaps this preoccupation with worldly things is actually what’s burning us out. Jesus offers something better:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Trade in your load for the yoke of Jesus. Unburden yourself. Before this invitation, Jesus says this:

“I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.  Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.  All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.“

Let us become once again like little kids at the feet of Jesus: unconcerned with titles, square footage, and 401k’s. Let’s go about our lives holding the hand of our Father.

At the end of each chapter in the book, Tozer shares a prayer. I have adapted one that I found to be extremely convicting for my life and our culture. I will share that in conclusion.

The Blessedness of Possessing Nothing:

Father, I want to know You, but my weak heart is scared to give up its stuff. I can’t give it up with out pain, and I am trying to be open about that fear. I’m scared, but I’m here.

Please remove all the things that I have given myself to that have become a part of me, so that You may enter free of resistance. Then You can make Your home beautiful. Then my heart will need no light from outside because You will fill me with all the light and warmth I need. 

In Jesus Name, Amen.

Blessings,
MC

Book Reflection, Faith, Faith and Culture

Book Reflection – The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

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“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Jesus in Matthew 11:28-30

Though I have resisted the hype around the book for a couple of years, I read The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer this week. I guess I put it off for the same reason that I put off watching Ted Lasso for a couple years – it couldn’t possibly live up to the hype, right?

Turns out, I’m really glad that I finally read the book. Not because it was filled with earth shattering new ideas, but because it served as a really poignant reminder that our apprenticeship under Jesus, as Comer would call it, is not meant to be complicated, it’s meant to be really simple.

Our culture loves to complicate things through addition: another show to watch, another coffee shop to try, another trip to take. And while technology has made accomplishing tasks in our world so much more efficient, we still feel like we don’t have enough time. Through church sermons, teen talks, and devotional books, we encourage each other to make time for our relationship with God, but we shouldn’t have to make time for that relationship. The lifestyle of Jesus should be our lifestyle and we make time for other things out of that.

I often feel like I don’t have enough time in the week, but a closer look at how I spend my time reveals that I do indeed have time (quite a bit of it at the moment, pre-firstborn), I just choose to spend it on other things, like watching tv. The average American spends 35 hrs a week watching tv. The average American man has played 10,000hrs of video games by the time they turn 21. Yikes! There are other stats in the book, those are just top of mind because I relate to them so hard…

Basically the point of the book is this: do less worthless things, elevate God to the top of our priority list, detox from the phone that constantly distracts us with the mere potential of missing something, and importantly, practice Sabbath. In doing these things we will experience daily the full life that God has for us – the one we have likely glimpsed fleetingly at different moments in our life. We will experience a depth of faith, a grateful spirit, and rest in Jesus.

I believe that to be true. So this year, I am setting some intentions: spend more time alone at the feet of Jesus, further enhance boundaries around my phone usage, and more seriously practice Sabbath rest.

Blessings,

Michael

I recommend the book!

Uncategorized

on “faith over fear”

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Let’s talk about “faith over fear” for a second.

I agree, we should have faith in God over the fear of our circumstances. 2 Timothy 1:7 says:

“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

In situations when we’re afraid to act because of fear, God empowers us with the Spirit to love ourselves and others as well as exercise self-control and not act rashly.

I’ve seen many Christians over the past few months use this phrase “faith over fear” as a reason to resume church services as normal. I understand that desire to be together. The truth is, online church sucks compared to being together in person. Being with each other is incredibly meaningful and sometimes, it’s even a transformative experience. God created us for community. There are, right now, plenty of ways for small groups to gather and experience depth of conversation, joy, grief, and life together.

I earnestly desire to be in our church’s meeting location again to see my family, share communion, play with the kids, and connect with my friends over coffee in the lobby. Born and bred by the Church, I often feel as if I’m operating without a limb if I don’t “go to church” on Sundays. Right now, our church isn’t meeting in our regular space at our regular time, and it’s been hard. We’re trying other things, and you’re right, it’s not the same.

But I agree with and support our church’s decision. Why? Because God gives us a Spirit of power and love and self-control. God empowers us to love our neighbors as ourselves and with the ability to exercise self-control in order to put the needs of others over ourselves. Right now, if we are being told there’s a higher likelihood than normal that people could get very sick, why risk it? I know a lot of churches are fully back at it, and that’s their decision to make. I don’t mean to tell other people what to do.

What I do think is that we really need to stop using “faith over fear” to shame others or claim that our freedom of religion is being infringed upon. I do believe that for many, there is a rush to get back together like normal out of fear. Fears that some of our folks will not come back to our churches. Fears that our churches will run out of money. Fears that things will never be the same. I have good news: we can have faith over those fears.

We can have faith that God is working all things for good. We can have faith that God is preparing new avenues for growth and transformation, even as we are filled with fear. We can be patient, understanding that the Kingdom of God is so much bigger than this moment, our times, and our church buildings. Nothing that we as individuals do is even close to big enough to limit God’s power in any way.

So I’ll end with this. God has empowered us with love and self-control. We can have faith that God works outside of our normals. God is good, and way bigger than this moment.

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With Love

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Reader,

I hope that this finds you well. As a society, we find ourselves in a *hopefully* once in a lifetime strangeness. Our lives have been disrupted, we’re concerned for ourselves and others, and we are grieving the loss of what we had hoped this season would hold. Weddings and graduations cancelled and postponed, relationships strained, and lives changed. I’ve had my days of despair feeling at my wit’s end with this lonely time, and I’m guessing you may have gotten there sometime over the last month+. I get it. This is hard.

And somehow in the midst of it all, I find myself more connected to what I believe to be the Spirit of God than I have in years. For control freaks like me, I guess in some ways that makes sense. I can’t even trick myself into believing that I have power over my situation right now. Maybe you’re there. I don’t tell you all of this to let you know what a spiritual giant I am, instead I tell you this to let you know that my ego gets in the way sometimes… ok probably a lot of times. And maybe yours does too? These days I am finding truth in the places that I had forgotten to look, or the places to which I had become dismissive. My heart is softening to the earth and those in it. I’m finding that in this more simplistic lifestyle I have been forced into, I can find the Spirit in the little things – the things I often look over.

Anyways, however you are responding to being a person during this strange time, I want you to know that you’re not alone. People love you and miss you, even when you don’t feel like it. Yes, even you! Thankfully, we can still connect in ways that I have scoffed at before. If you feel alone, reach out. Odds are the person on the other end feels similarly.

Breathe in, breathe out, see yourself. You’re actually awesome. A miracle in fact!

Love,

Michael

 

Faith, Faith and Culture, Uncategorized

A “too political” Essay for Christians Like Me

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I haven’t written much lately. That’s not because there hasn’t been anything going on in our world or in my life, and it’s definitely not because I didn’t have any thoughts about what’s been going on in the world or in my life. I think that for most of the last year, I decided that I needed to take a step back for several different reasons. I thought that I was talking a lot, and I needed to listen more. I was afraid that people may start to view me as too political (ugh, I know), or that I was ignoring the parts of myself that needed work because I was consistently pointing out the flaws and injustices of everyone else while ignoring the issues that I was causing or having to deal with. I think in many ways, I stopped believing that anything I did or said on the internet could or would affect positive change or growth in the world outside of my computer screen.

Let me state that I am not a perfect vessel for any sort of justice work, and I know that. But, I am going to try my best and likely say things imperfectly because I think I’m supposed to try. I’m afraid that there are many other people out there like me who want to say something, but they’re afraid to because it may come out wrong, so instead they don’t use their voice at all. So here goes nothing:

 

I thought I would eloquently write some memoir-ish style stories from my own life and weave them into many of the issues I care about, but that’s not where my head is at today. Instead I think I’ll just give it to you straight. It will save you some time reading and save me some stories for another time. There’s also too many issues swirling in my head to do that well.

Christian friends, please remember when reading: I love you. Even if I disagree with you, I don’t hate you. I love you.

Here’s some things those professing Christianity should consider in 2020:

Ending the Death Penalty:

In 2020, two millennia after the cornerstone of the Christian faith, Jesus, was put to death by the state, why is the Death Penalty still legal, and why are the majority of the supporters Evangelical Christians like me? In my home state of Tennessee, there have been 12 executions since 2000. There were not any executions in Tennessee in the 20 years leading up to 2000. Why do so many claim Pro-Life stances and then support the premature ending of life? Professed Christian and Tennessee Governor Bill Lee has the authority to pause all scheduled executions via gubernatorial moratorium (California, Colorado, Oregon, and Pennsylvania), but he has ignored his standing invitation to go and pray with the death row inmates in Tennessee. Where is the grace in this legislation? Is the justice of the Kingdom of God found in such retributive justice? For each of our sakes, I hope that Kingdom Justice is found in other ways. Ending life is not a redemptive act. Jesus stood down a group of people ready to stone a woman, and they all dropped their stones and went home. Perhaps followers of Jesus should do the same.

Welcoming Refugees:

You’ve likely heard this before, so I don’t want to beat a dead horse, but after Jesus was born, his family had to flee to Egypt because the land of Israel was not safe for him. So yes, Jesus was a refugee. That’s in Matthew 2:13-23 for the fact checkers. Other of our Bible friends were refugees – like Ruth. Aren’t we glad that Boaz welcomed her? They ended up being some of the ancestors of Jesus. More than that, for the Old Testament lovers, God gives a clear command to the people of God in Leviticus 19:33-34, “Do not take advantage of foreigners who live among you in your land. Treat them like native-born Israelites, and love them as you love yourself. Remember that you were once foreigners living in the land of Egypt. I am the LORD your God.” This really doesn’t seem too much like an optional deal to me. You are not in danger, these folks – like you and me – just want a safe place to live.

***OK, now we’re at the point where you might be about to check-out because what Michael has written is just too political. Here’s the thing: to me, our faith and our politics cannot be separated. Everything that we do and all the people that we support, reflect what we have put our faith in. We show what we believe and what we are trusting in with our actions. Political action such as voting or even endorsing someone on Facebook, reveals a little more of our priorities and beliefs about the world. So if you think I’m being too political, I disagree, but I don’t hate you. I love you.

Stopping Support for Un-Ethical Leaders:

I am weary from beating around the bush so much in 2019, so here goes, supporting President Donald Trump is severely problematic at best and dangerous at worst. Endorsing this president in front of your kids, grandkids, or friends is harmful to the brand of Christianity that you claim. Any person who openly speaks so offensively about women, minorities, and his peers while using the Name of Jesus to gain political power is not someone we should be supporting. If someone simply tweets a Bible verse and you interpret that as an offense against the President, what does that say about the President? For too long, good people like you and me have buried their heads in the sand while the President of our country pushes policies that harm marginalized people groups and serves himself. This level of moral impunity is not worth the Supreme Court Justice that you wanted. Please acknowledge wrongdoing for what it is and do not support those who bring it about. Yes, please pray for our president and other leaders. Pray that they will make decisions that bend our world towards justice. And if they are not doing that, Pray that they will change their ways, but don’t support someone who you think is doing wrong.

Stopping Support for War:

For the record, this is not me coming out as unsupportive of the members of our military. I have real life friends who are currently in the military and have been in the past. Just this afternoon, I was counseling a young friend who is graduating high school in May. We’ve talked often about him entering the military after high school. I don’t think it’s a bad idea for him. I hope that our troops are compensated well and their health – both mental and physical – is given high priority. What I don’t support is our government entering into violent conflict. Many of our governments leaders, President Trump included, claim Christian faith. A core tenant in the life and ministry of Jesus was non-violence. I honestly really struggle with understanding the Christian support of war, ever. Jesus talks of the blessedness of the peacemakers, but war seems to do the opposite. I know that the current situation is very nuanced, and I am not well-read enough to make an educated comment on our current state of affairs with Iran, but I can say, to me, war is never a good option. I don’t hate people who disagree, but I am asking that my fellow Christians, in order to follow Jesus more earnestly, to consider the how and why of your support or lack of support. Pray for peace.

In Conclusion:

If you disagree with me, I don’t hate you. If you think I’m being too political, I disagree with you, but I don’t hate you. I love you. Some things transcend political philosophy and enter into what I believe to be an ethical issue. These issues have become bigger than Republican v. Democrat or Liberal v. Conservative to me. I hope that in reading this you consider what I’ve brought up and haven’t simply dismissed it, but if you have, I don’t hate you. I love you. This year, let’s be people who wholeheartedly march towards justice and redemption for all people.

 

With Love,

Michael

Faith

Is God not mad… just disappointed?

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How do you think God reacts when we do wrong?

I asked this question to a group of 7-12 grade students from our student ministry last night. As always, I told them that there were no wrong answers. If the question asks what you think, and you say what you think, then you get the answer right. While they couldn’t possibly answer the question incorrectly – unless they were lying – I was hoping against hope that they wouldn’t answer, “I think God gets mad at us.”

And they didn’t say, “God gets mad at us when we mess up.” Hooray! Youth ministry win.

They gave the answer that I think a lot of people (including sometimes me) would, “I don’t think God gets mad at us when we mess up… It’s probably more like when we do something wrong and we get caught by our parents. Then they say something like, ‘We’re not mad. We’re just disappointed that you did this.‘ Like I don’t think God gets mad when we mess up, just disappointed.”

 

We’ve come a long way since the Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God theology. Most of us are passing on a view of God that isn’t this powerfully vengeful being watching over us who punishes us when we mess up. We’ve come a long way from our hell-fire and brimstone God who will throw someone into eternal damnation for swearing too much or having sex. We have replaced this angry, vengeful view of God with a view of God that is far more tame and human. In this view, God doesn’t want to punish us, God’s feelings just get hurt a lot. With this outlook, God is a friend who we didn’t sit with at lunch or a good parent that caught us in a lie.

At my private Christian middle school (circa  2007) we often unironically sang a song in chapel time called, Can He Still Feel the Nails. It goes like this:

Can He still feel the nails every time I fail?

Can He hear the crowd cry “crucify” again?

Am I causing Him pain, when I know I’ve got to change?

Because I just can’t bear the thought of hurting Him.

Yeah I know. A song that I think many would fairly deem manipulative.

While myself and many in my thought sphere have – in adulthood – laughed at the vast fallacy of that song and other sayings like it, I think we’re still walking around with much of the residue from those views. We’ve abandoned a view of God who hurts us because of our imperfection, and we have adopted a view of God who is hurt by our imperfection. So while we’ve been so right to run from this vengeful view of God, we may have sat down someplace that we need not stay.

 

This may get fairly philosophical for a bit. Roll with it.

I also just want to say, at a certain point, theology and theological arguments are in some sense broken and unhelpful because we cannot – though we may try – divorce ourselves from our different perspectives. So many people have different ideas and views on the Divine, and perhaps God is big enough to hold all of them. That said, I’ll try and make an argument that may be helpful.

So is God disappointed in us when we fail? Or when we don’t do our best?

A key underlying assumption to even asking this question is God cares about my own personal thoughts and actions. If God does not, then how could we disappoint God? We of course, cannot disappoint someone who does not care. So for the sake of argument, let’s say that God is concerned with me as an individual (my thoughts, actions, being).

Our view of God as a father or parental figure seems to really play into this view of a disappointed God. If growing up, my mom always told me, “Don’t smoke,” and she never saw or became suspicious of me smoking, she would likely expect that I don’t smoke. At that point, if she expects that I haven’t ever smoked, and she catches me smoking, she would be disappointed. Her expectations for me as her son were not met.

Our view of God as a friend can lead to this disappointed view of God too. If every week my friends and I play trivia on Tuesday night, it becomes an expectation of the friends in the group that I will go play trivia with them every Tuesday. At that point, if I bail on trivia, they could be disappointed with me. If I’ve never gone to trivia with them before, and hanging out with them every week is not an expectation, then how could they be disappointed?

Disappointment is a result of unmet expectations.

If we believe God is an omniscient, omnipotent being who is continually creating the universe, it seems unlikely to me that God would be anything less than fully aware of our past, current, and future pitfalls. Does God expect that we will be perfect or close to perfect? Does God even expect that we will give our best effort?

When I truly think about the bigness of God, quippy phrases like “Jesus expects our best” don’t hold up. It may make for a best selling keychain at LifeWay, but upon further examination, where do we even get that? An easy response would be to point me towards literally any of the commands of Jesus from the Sermon on the Mount. Good. But have you ever told someone to do something and not expected them to do it? Have you ever pointed someone in the right direction knowing it’s in their best interest, and still expected them to go their own way? I have, and I would argue that this is could be how Jesus felt.

Throughout the stories of Jesus that we have in the Bible, I have a hard time finding one that describes Jesus as disappointed. (Disclaimer: I could be wrong, and that’s the fun part about putting stuff on the internet.) However, I find a lot of times when people come to Jesus with expectations and leave disappointed. When the rich young ruler comes to Jesus explaining his goodness, expecting a warm embrace and pat on the back, Jesus asks for what he knows the man won’t give, obedience at the cost of his stuff. The man left disappointed. The religious leaders often came to Jesus with questions expecting to be affirmed as correct or to entangle Jesus, but they always left disappointed or even angry.

I would argue that disappointment is much more a human emotion that we feel towards God than the way God feels towards us. God lavishes love and grace upon us expecting nothing in return. No conditions. We don’t really get that because even in the purest forms of human connection, we expect some form of reciprocation. Even the best, most loving parents feel hurt when their children turn their backs on them. God is simply not this way.

 

To explain what God’s Kingdom and grace is like, Jesus tells the story of a younger brother who didn’t want to wait till his dad died to get his stuff and get on with it. This son goes to his dad and essentially says, “I want your stuff now, I don’t want to wait.” Storyteller Jesus doesn’t then say, “And the father was disappointed.” The father does what his son asks and gives him his share, and the younger son left. The father gave of his love and treasures with no conditions. While the younger son is off burning the candle at both ends, we don’t hear that the father is up all night weeping. Instead, what we see is a father who is waiting for his son to come home. When the younger son returns home, he expects his dad to be mad, or at least disappointed, but instead what he finds when he gets home is a warm embrace and a party. The only character in the story that is disappointed is the older brother, who didn’t understand the bigness of his dad’s love.

We are loved by God without conditions. Immense, pure love, way bigger and better than we love our girlfriends or our kids. Understanding that God’s immaculate love is unphased by our screw-ups or straight up screw-overs is going to help us let go of a whole lot of shame. Believing that we’ve in some way let down the Creator of the universe is a terribly shame-inducing way to live. And shame wrecks relationship. Our fear of disappointing God has for too long kept us from total communion with God and each other. When we feel convicted that we’re in the wrong, believing that God is disappointed keeps us from running home instead of pushing us to running home faster.

When we’ve taken God’s good things and twisted them for our own devices, God isn’t mad or disappointed, God just wants us home. A warm embrace and a party awaits.

Faith, Uncategorized

reflecting in the new year

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A new year is upon us. I feel fairly indifferent about it all. I think this is the first time in my life where I’m not excited to jump into another stage. 2018 was exactly what it was: a year. There were good days, bad days, and a lot of eh days. I learned a lot, and I grew a lot in 2018. Don’t get me wrong, I made some mistakes along the way, but that’s how we learn. I made some beautiful friends in the last year. Some days I was so content that I just wished those days would stretch on forever. Some days I was so discontent that I almost dropped everything and wanted start over in something else. Throughout all the wins and losses, the year was made special by those with whom I spent it. And I’m thankful for that.

Thinking about this blog and especially it’s contents in 2018, I am fairly happy with what I wrote and how I wrote it. Oftentimes, I’m writing as much to encourage myself to use my voice as I am to share my voice with others. Many people, maybe even most, find it more difficult to speak openly to flaws of the existing social systems than they do to affect change in their own hearts. I have the opposite problem. For me, to call on churches, governments, and others to do the right thing is much easier than acknowledging, even privately, the corners of my personhood that are not seeking justice and loving mercy.

I struggle with introspection. Strangely enough, I’m more self-reflective when I’m in the presence of others than when I’m by myself. Being self-reflective in public moments at least gives me something to talk about. I’m largely afraid of being found out to be who I most fear that I am: a fraud.

My family and close friends would be able to identify me as an often fairly disagreeable person. I remember growing up my mom would say things to me like, “If I said the sky was blue, you would say it’s not.” And she was right. My parents often referred to me affectionately as a Smart Alec, which turns out to just be the church appropriate way of calling somebody a smartass. I don’t really know at what age I became someone looking to poke holes in the rulings of authority figures, but by high school, I was in full bloom. I was never in trouble, ever, but that doesn’t mean that I was always easy to get along with. Youth pastors would be able to identify my high school self as that student who could be a great leader, but could also be a pain when they wanted to be. I quickly learned that there was always a way to pretty blatantly disobey while making it look like I had good motives. One time in high school a few of my friends and I walked out of the planned youth group events to have our own unsanctioned small group. As I made sure to tell my mom later, “We had our Bibles with us and everything,”

Of course I didn’t then have the self-awareness to understand that my desire to undermine authority figures was born out of my own insecurities. I know that now, so I have less of an excuse. I was insecure that I wouldn’t be known as smart, funny, or cool, but instead I was insecure that I would be simply known. Known to be only me, and I didn’t think that would be enough. On my worst days now, that scared teen still comes through.

What I didn’t know then was that who I am, behind the bluster and pseudo confidence, is enough. I still forget that sometimes. I often have to remind myself that I don’t have to earn my worth or have my worth voted on and judged by a panel of my peers. Any affirmation that I receive when I’m overcompensating doesn’t last in my heart because it’s not really affirmation of me, it’s affirmation of the character that I play. I need to remember that it’s ok to not know what to do and ask for help. I don’t have to have all the answers, and I don’t have to give all the answers to people who didn’t ask me what the answers were in the first place.

In the Bible in the book of Genesis, God comes to this guy Jacob in the night and God wrestles with him for hours. Eventually God knocks Jacob’s hip out of place, but Jacob doesn’t disengage, saying, “I won’t let go until you bless me!” So God blesses Jacob and changes his name to Israel, which means One who wrestles with God. Author Annie F. Downs takes this away from the story: God gives us a limp and a blessing. Our limps and our blessings are tied together, and we can’t have one without the other. For me this looks like being willing to address the brokenness and injustice of our systems (blessing) but at the same time struggling to address the brokenness and injustice inside of myself (limp). Or as Jesus might say, I am quick to attend to the speck in the eyes of others, but slow to attend to the log in my own.

The more conscious we are of our limps, the more we’re able to live into our blessings. I am enough, not because of what I’ve done but because of who I am: a person. And so are you. We don’t have to keep measuring ourselves against each other because God knows us and welcomes us without a pecking order.

 

So it’s a new year. And with this blog and my different platforms in 2019, I hope to put forth more introspective and vulnerable content like this. As I wrap this up, I’m aware that this isn’t the most eloquent thing I’ve ever written, but it is honest, and that’s where I need to be.

Thanks for reading!

-MC

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An excerpt from Martin Luther King, Jr.’s address at the Fourth Annual Institute on Nonviolence and Social Change at Bethel Baptist Church.

December 3rd, 1959

There is great need for positive leadership from the moderates of the white South in this tense period of transition. Unfortunately today, the leadership of the white South is by and large in the hands of close-minded extremists. These persons gain prominence and power by the dissemination of false ideas, and by appealing to the deepest fears and hates within the human mind. But they do not speak for the South; of that I am convinced.

There are in the white South millions of people of goodwill whose voices are yet unheard, whose course is yet unclear, and whose courageous acts are yet unseen. Such persons are in Montgomery today. These persons are often silent today because of fear of social, political, and economic reprisals. In the name of God, in the interest of human dignity, and for the cause of democracy, I appeal to these white brothers to gird their courage, to speak out, to offer the leadership that is needed. Here in Montgomery we are seeking to improve the whole community, and we call upon the whites to help us. Our little message to the white community is simply this: We who call upon you are not so-called outside agitators. We are your Negro brothers whose sweat and blood has {have} also built Dixie. We yearn for brotherhood and respect and want to join hands with you to build a freer, happier land for all. If you fail to act now, history will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.