Walking through life with Jesus is hard. He goes to places we don’t want to go. To places that don’t make sense to us. He goes to the poor, the broken, the war-torn. The Pharisees were not unhappy because Jesus spent too much time with them, but rather because he spent His time elsewhere. Jesus spent his time among the “other.” This is hard to grasp for me. If Jesus were physically on this earth, would he come to my church? Would he come to my school? Or would he be found amongst those whom I write-off? Would Jesus and I hang out at my house, or would he invite me to the streets? Is his invitation to come and follow for me? Is there a way of following Jesus that is comfortable? Is God calling me to middle class American churches? They need to be directed toward Christ as well… I have so many questions, and more questions are raised in our world every single day. The more that I know Christ, the more I know that I don’t know much at all. This is maybe the most confusing thing about it. Since when did, “I don’t know,” become the truest answer I can provide? I remember when everything was black-and-white and I had a clue about the world, but that was a while back now. In all the controversy, sometimes I find myself standing in the middle, in the ever-expanding gray area because I think that’s often where Jesus stood. Jesus rarely answered questions in the way people wanted. He often told a story or asked a question showing that the issues were not as simple as they may have seemed. So in this world of choosing sides, I have to choose Jesus, the truest of all truths.
“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
Lord, come quickly.