I, Wretch

“Father, I come before you today as a wretch.  I come as one who has repeatedly, continuously turned from your grace.  For so long have I run from you.  For so long have I kept returning only to leave again.  Time and time again have I fully known what is right and good, and time and time again have I chosen the other way.  Father, for so long have I requested green pastures and quiet waters only to choose to remain in the Valley of the Shadow of Death.  My  life has only occasionally been lived in a way that matches Your Gospel.  For so long I have been hypocritical of hypocrites with a plank lodged in my own eye.  I have been impatient in the things of Your will.  I have not trusted that Your plan is better than mine.  I have turned my nose up at the sight of Your will in my life for Your people.

Father, I often do not even see people who are different than me.  I have become so desensitized to the hurt in Your world.  I have taken detours to avoid Your plans.  Over and over again, I have turned away at the sight of those in need.  Constantly I set my mind on the things of this world and block out the things of heaven.  I have turned to the wrong places for comfort.  I have told myself that I belong here.  I have pointed the finger at others.  I have excluded those who need belonging the most.

Father, I have been ashamed of the cross.  I have been terrified of what people will say and what they will think.  I have given you only pieces of who I am.  I have cheated You.  Day in and day out I have put myself ahead of You.  I have proclaimed the words of Your Gospel but failed to live it.  I encourage people to share their faith while masking my own.  I have told half-truths.  I have blamed You for my shortcomings.  I have projected anger at myself onto others.  I have hurt those whom I love.  I have used my words to hurt others.  For so long I have longed for personal recognition.  I have accepted praise.  I have repeatedly fed my own ego by tearing others down.  I have put my wants in front of the needs of others.  I have been afraid of the future.  I have been afraid of my departure from this world.  I have been afraid of Your calling.

Father, for all of these things, forgive me.”

Son, I know.  I know your faults.  I created You.  Since the beginning, I have had a plan for you, yes you!  You are so valued.  I knit you together in your mother’s womb.  I know everything that you have done and everything that you will ever do, and I still want you.  You are mine!  Do not be impatient, for everything that you could ever need is already taken care of.  I got this!  In your time on earth, there are tough times, but I will never leave you!  Come to me, I am all that you need.  I am all that you will ever need.  I created the sun, moon, and stars, but you, you are in my own image!  I have given you a heart, a heart with which to love my creation.  You were not created to count your flaws, but rather, you were created to reflect me!  You are imperfect, you make mistakes, and you always will, but I have made you righteous!  I have washed you and made you clean!  I know how many hairs are on your head, I know all of the sins that you left out, I know what you did last week, and son, even after all of that, YOU ARE MINE!

In all those things, I AM.  From the beginning until now, I AM.  From now until forever, I AM.

Grace in the Gray

Doesn’t growing up kinda stink sometimes?

Life used to be so easy.  There were no decisions to be made, or not many important ones anyways.  Questions of morality were so black and white.  Back when the words ethics, prejudice, and bias meant nothing to me.  That was a time in which following God was a decision, not a lifestyle.  There was an obviously correct answer to every question as well as an obviously incorrect answer.  Everything made sense.  The choices set before me were easy.  Eat healthily or unhealthily.  Do the homework or suffer the consequences.  Lie or tell the truth.  Every action had a pretty clear consequence.

But now I find myself swimming in a sea of gray.  Almost anything can be justified in my mind.  Any action can be supported by logic.  And the difference between obviously right and obviously wrong has become a lot of maybes.  All of a sudden, making decisions has become an intense debate inside my head.  Nothing is clear.

But as far as I can tell, this is just part of becoming who I am.

When I came to college to study the Bible vocationally, I thought a lot of things would get cleared up.  That more study of the Bible would lead to a more black and white view of the world and what happens in it.  It surely hasn’t.  The more I study, the more I realize how little that I know.  The more I study God’s word, the more I understand the vast spectrum that Christians fall onto.  Often I have heard people talk about the Bible as if it is something that anyone with a brain can agree as to what it says.  More often, I have seen people heatedly disagree about its truths. Truthfully, we cannot know for certain that our ways are correct.

So what can we do?

In the current age, we can live by faith.  We can live boldly in a way that glorifies our Lord.  We can lean on grace.

So often, we extend grace to others for moral stumbles, but do not extend any grace for genuine intellectual/interpretation differences. Is salvation dependent on perfect interpretation? On perfect understanding? On perfect obedience? If that were the case, we would all be lost.

So today, I challenge those reading this to live boldly by faith.

Hebrews 11 speaks directly to this topic covering many who, by faith, were used to accomplish the Lord’s perfect plan.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.  This is what the ancients were commended for.  Hebrews 11:1-2.

Boldly following Jesus is something that the Lord will prosper, not punish.

Run after Jesus through the gray. Faithfully trust Him. Count on grace for the missteps.

An Open Letter to the Church

Written to the Church, the Bride of Christ,

Many would say that there are a lot of prejudices in our American church culture today.  I so often see people speaking out against socio-economic divides in our churches, against racial divides, and even many against gender divides, but there is an interesting norm in our churches that many seem to take no notice of.  A part of Christian culture that has changed drastically, even making, in many cases, a 180 degree turn from the early church.  This is the Church’s view on marriage and singleness.

Most all Christians expect to someday get married.  It has become an expectation of those growing up in our churches that someday it would be they who would be dressing their little children up in their adorable little Sunday attire and coming to church.  And why would so many have that expectation?  Because that is what they see at church.  They have watched so many before them go through that experience of finding that person whom they can team up with as they chase after Jesus.  What else plays into this mindset?  The overwhelming thought in our churches that this is the normal next step in life.   From youth group to college to marriage to children.  Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom  These are the “natural” steps that are taken in the life of a normal Christian.

Just in the past week, I have read article after article about how to reach millennials.  Why are our churches losing millennials?  Why do some come back?  Why do many not come back?  I have no complete answer, but I can say that many millennials come back when they have someone to bring back with them.  They come back when instead of hearing, “Still single? Oh well, you’ll find that person eventually,” they hear, “Congratulations! Do you guys need anything? I can help with the shower! When’s the wedding???”

There is a distinct difference in the responses I just mentioned. The first is derogatory, and the second is congratulatory.  The first implies that this person in some way needs to have that relationship.   That single people are in some way lacking or incomplete.

Being at a small Christian college in Nashville, I find myself in the hotbed of it all.  The pressure that some feel to have that relationship is insane.  There is a common phrase thrown around: “Ring by Spring!”  Though in almost every case I have heard this used it has been in a joking matter, there is truth to it, or else it wouldn’t be a commonly used phrase.  Every summer there are tons and tons of people who get married.  This falls before the eyes of every single person via Facebook and Instagram (and those weird people who live Tweet weddings).  For the record, I in no way want those getting married to feel as though they should not express happiness on social media.  What I am saying is that if not for the pressure of getting to that point, single people would feel far more inclined to celebrate with those celebrating as opposed to stress eating in the corner.  One is not in any way less because of their singleness.

Now I’ll tell you about myself.

I am a single, 21-year-old Christian.  I someday think that I might be married, but who knows.  I am loved by the Creator of the universe.  I have awesome friends.  Recently while hypnotized, I told hundreds of people that I am passionate about romance.  Who knew?  ANYWAYS, I think there are some things that we can do as Christians to better our culture and foster an atmosphere of encouragement for all.  Here’s some things:

1. Change our attitude!  If we find out someone is getting married, is in a new and exciting relationship, or is still happily married, let’s celebrate with them! This is a joyous occasion! God is doing awesome things!  If we find that someone is single, let’s celebrate with them! Singleness is an awesome gift from God! God is doing awesome things!

2. Do singleness right!  I have a friend who feels called to singleness.  He does it right!  God uses him in some really unique ways.  Even those who may not feel a specific call to singleness, but find themselves in that category (me!) have something really awesome to offer in the kingdom of God.  Do not be scared away from jumping into the family of God because you feel awkward or weirdly pressured.  God has an incredible plan for you filled with opportunity to love and feel loved!

3. Integrate!  In the Body of Christ we all have unique gifts and talents.  How foolish have we been to so quickly divide ourselves into the “Singles,” the “Young Marrieds,” the “Marrieds with Children,” the “Parents of Adolescents,” and the “Seniors.”  These categories alone leave so many people out!  Of course there are great things that can come from spending quality time with those in similar walks of life, but aren’t we missing out on something??? I guess if Jesus came to many of our churches, He’d end up in the “Singles” class for the Sunday School hour.  We each have so much to learn from each other, we cannot afford to be constantly divided.

Anyways, this has been a doozy of a letter for me to write, but nonetheless well worth it.  I hope you have found my words encouraging.

God has an immeasurable amount of love for all of us.  Let us take delight in it!

Forever His,

MC

The Mad Farmer Liberation Front by Wendell Berry

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.
So, friends, every day do something
that won’t compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.
Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.
Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion – put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?
Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn’t go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.

Practice resurrection.

Wendell Berry

why the Church still matters.

Today is February 11th, 2015.

I just ripped off two snapchats after reading a Christian blog post about why women shouldn’t watch 50 Shades of Grey.  I’m typing this out on a MacBook Pro with my iPhone 5s right beside me.  The world is at my fingertips.  I have Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, RapChat, Trivia Crack, Snapchat, and GroupMe so that I can connect with all of my friends at any time I want.  Life is good, right?

The accessibility to faith-based podcasts, blogs, books, and sermons is higher than ever.  I have worship bands like Hillsong United on my iPod, I have the Bible App on my phone, and I go to a Christian college where I take Bible classes.  There is no way that I can escape being a follower of Christ, right?

And with all this stuff that supposedly points us towards Jesus, who needs to be a part of a church?  According to most numbers (including Wikipedia), there are roughly 700 churches in Nashville where I reside.  Of these churches, many have phenomenal preaching, fantastic worship services, and some take place in really cool venues.  Many people in Nashville go to church, the majority claim to be Christians or feel some sort of tie to the Christian faith.  But how many are a part of a church?

I see a vast difference between going to church and being part of the Church.  In fact, many would argue that due to our great exposure to Christianity, we don’t have to even go to church to be a Christian.  God’s not counting our attendance and holding it for judgment day.  As long as we believe in God, pray when we need Him, and occasionally go to a worship service, we’re doing what is asked of us, right?  I don’t think so.  I have to argue that going to church or participating in the American Christian subculture makes us no more of a follower of Christ than going to McDonalds makes us a cheeseburger.

To me being a part of the Church includes many things, but a main aspect is the body of believers.  A group of people who take care of each other, keep each other in line, and pick each other up when their down.  Without my group of friends and family, life would be pretty rough.  These people are my church.  These imperfect people who deal with struggles, the same and different from myself, are invaluable in my life and in my walk with the Lord.  The Church is still relevant to the world today because it is made up of people who live in this world.

The early church dealt with the struggles of living in the world just like churches today struggle.  Due to the time period, they were very different, but still insanely similar.  When they couldn’t see God, they turned to pagan idol worship for comfort, pleasure, and security.  When we today can’t see God, we turn to money, lust, and greed for comfort, pleasure, and security.  The Church still matters in the world because it is in conflict with the ways of the world.  Wars break out, diseases spread, and shamefulness abounds while the Church finds itself in the middle of it all, often falling onto the wrong side of the fence.

The Church matters to you, me, and us because we need the Church.  We need those people to come alongside us and push us in the right direction, and those people need us in the same way.  The race of the Kingdom of God is not meant to be run swiftly or independently.  God has called us together for something greater that we could never imagine, and that is why the Church matters.

“If you want to go quickly, go alone, if you want to go far, go together.”

-MC

The Definitive Ranking of the Top 10 Christmas Movies

So tonight, on Christmas Eve, I decided to, with a committee, rank the top 10 Christmas movies of all-time. These are the answers we have come up with. I would love to get your feedback in the comments section.

1. It’s a Wonderful Life
2. White Christmas
3. A Charlie Brown Christmas
4. Miracle on 34th Street
5. Holiday Inn
6. Elf
7. Home Alone
8. A Christmas Story
9. Jingle All the Way
10. Polar Express

May your days be merry and bright,

and may all your Christmases be white!

(or at least merry, it doesn’t snow everywhere)

-MC

What StompFest 2014 taught me about God

On Thursday, November 20, 2014, at approximately 9:30pm, 11 members (including myself) of Theta Psi Social Club along with 3 others (a team of 14) won Lipscomb’s 5th annual StompFest.  StompFest is a step-show put on by Kappa Iota Theta (a Lipscomb club that promotes diversity).  Members of Lipscomb’s Greek Life compete with their respective clubs and put on a really great show.  We started practicing 7 weeks before the show, and in the couple weeks leading up to it, we had some pretty long practices.  We worked on cleaning the routine and making the show flow.  We did a lot in preparation in order to put on a great show.  Since that night, I have not stopped “stomping.”  I stomp (and almost fall) in the shower, I stomp (and almost fall) when I walk, and my mom smacked me when she saw me stomping at church on Sunday.  My family was so sick of me stomping around the house over the Thanksgiving break, but truthfully, sometimes I just can’t help it, it’s involuntary.

Stomping has become a habit.  One that has been engrained in my muscle memory, a reflex, if you will.  Now, many would consider my stomping to be a bad habit, but for the longest time it was a great habit.  I was training my body to do it with out thinking.  Practicing it over time made it second nature to me.  Habits are actions that we have done over and over again.  We practice our habits without thinking.  No one has to tell us to do them, and we feel weird if we do not practice our habits.  Most people have a habit of brushing their teeth.  No one has to tell me to brush my teeth because before I do anything in the morning, I brush them, and before I go to sleep at night, I brush them.  And believe me, I know when I haven’t brushed them (and I hope that no one else knows, but they probably do).

Habits can be both good and bad.  I firmly believe that part of following Jesus is intentionally forming good, Christ-centered habits.  In one of my classes this year, intentionality in our relationship with God has been a main subject.  Whether it be reflective journaling, prayer, reading, or worship, we need to have Christ-centered activities things that are second nature to us.  Our relationship with God takes practice.  Spending time with God does not always sound like fun, or a great use of our time, but truly, it always is a blessing.  At first, sitting at the feet of Jesus can seem like a chore.  Pursuing the mind of Christ is not something that we can only get away with doing every once in a while, or when we “have time.”  In order to be in tune with the will of God in our lives, we need to be constantly seeking Him out, just as He constantly seeks us out.

God is so good.  He wants to be with us constantly, and we are not only disobeying Him but also cheating ourselves if we choose not to spend time with our Lord, Savior, and Sovereign Redeemer.

Lord give us habits that are worthy of the calling that we have received.

Till next time,

-MC

PS: If anyone wants to watch our competition winning Stomp, check out the link below!

When Church League Basketball Looks Like the Church

Yesterday when I was at the church building, I went to the gym, or “Christian Activities Center,” to set up some games for middle school class last night.  Just as I was slaving away with cones and other class-related stuff, a basketball floated into my hands, and then moved from from my hands towards the basket.  Still not sure what happened but I ended up shooting the ole basketball around for a little bit.  Something weird happens when I shoot hoops by myself: I think.  I think a lot, and about a lot of stuff.  As I was shooting for a few minutes yesterday, I thought about those other times I had played basketball in that gym…

In middle school and high school, I played on the basketball team put together by members of our youth group.  We played against other churches from the area (which really says something about the amount of churches in Nashville), and we had a lot of fun, sometimes.  When I was in seventh and eighth grade, we didn’t win a game… not a single one.  It wasn’t for lack of trying, we just didn’t have the tools necessary to win basketball games (i.e. height, athleticism, actual skill).  I remember screaming at refs and slamming my fist into the bleachers because we were getting “ripped off.”  The saddest part of this story is the fact that I wasn’t the only one in that state.  I remember parents saying some horrific things about the way the game was being played, I remember the rage and occasional curse words uttered by players, and I remember technical fouls (a whole lot of those).

As I got into high school, my friends and I decided to play a different style.  We knew we weren’t going to win all of the games, though we did win some.  We played to have fun, and fun we had.  I started shooting all of my free throws “granny-style,” and when we would be down at the end of games, we would execute our favorite play, “PAT.”  We would get the ball right at the mid-court line where someone would snap the ball between their legs to a “holder” who would toss the ball to the “kicker” who then would proceed to shoot the ball from half-court.  It was really something.  I think a video exists, somewhere.  We had a great time, and yes, we still did occasionally get caught up in the competitive nature of basketball, but when we didn’t, teams noticed.  I always tried to make the other team laugh.  There’s nothing that stops people from getting “awkward mad” more than getting them to laugh.  I always loved when we would lose to a team by 30 or 40 points, but by the end, everyone kind of felt like they were playing on the same team…

…Because we are on the same team, right?  Think about what your church looks like, and odds are it slightly resembles one of these styles.  Too often, church can become an “I need it my way” organization, and that leads to a lot of bitterness and dissent.  We need to be active churches who don’t sweat the small stuff.  Not everyone will ever agree on everything, and we need to know that.  The church is supposed to be one undivided body, so let’s stop breaking off pieces because we feel slightly uncomfortable.

Jesus died for us and rose again in three days, and that’s hopefully something that we can agree on.

Baby Dedications, the Body, and Car Mechanics

This past Sunday, we celebrated a new baby that has been born into our church.  So, aesthetically how this works is the biological family of the baby + really anyone who sees it necessary and the elders of our church will come up to the front of the auditorium during the worship service.  One of our elders will introduce this baby and charge the church with doing all things necessary in order to bring this child up in the way of the Lord through Christian community, to which the church replies together, “We will.”  For a long time, I have thought about this occasional moment in our church’s service as something that drags it on longer and cuts into our class time following worship.  For a while in fact, I would not reply, “We will,” along with the rest of the congregation, not because I wanted to introduce that kid to “drugs, sex, and rock & roll,” as some might say, but rather because that’s a long-term commitment.  That baby is a baby.  It’s not going away anytime soon.  Being twenty years old, that is a life-long commitment.  Life-long… Shoot, If I wanted to be responsible for the life and upbringing of a child, I would just have a kid… Not really HAVE a kid.  Because, after all, there are a few things that need to happen first, or at least one thing anatomically… but you get the point, right?  I’m not locking myself in to a bunch of babies for life, I got enough to worry about on my own.  

Anyways, my thoughts on the matter have changed.

It hit me on Sunday that nearly 21 years ago, I was the baby being blessed from that pulpit. Then I realized the power in that.  For my entire life, I have been blessed by many of the people that were in that building on Sunday, and many others who have sat through those dedications in the past.  I look around at people who are like my caring aunts, goofy uncles, loving grandmothers, respectable grandfathers, cool older cousins, and not as cool older cousins.  The point is that those people who made that commitment 21 years ago have time and time again come through on what they said.  They made a commitment and are still in the process of seeing it through.  Oddly enough, the guy who had the most recent baby was my first ever camp counselor ten years ago.  So, you know what I did when the elder charged us with bringing this kid up in the church? I said, “We will.”

The church is not something that is linear.  It is like a cycle that is constantly overlapping.  Potentially, there will be a lot of babies born into the church before I’m gone.  But at the same time, as those people who have played key roles in my upbringing are aging, I now have a responsibility to them.  For example, one of my two grandmothers passed away in February.  For the past few years, I had watched as my parents took great care of her daily.  Two incredibly busy people, but they still worked tirelessly to give her the best quality of life possible.  Now, my family is in that process with my remaining grandmother.  I am so blessed to be around two great examples of faith and the overlapping cycle of the Christian life.  So, while I am still young and am being encouraged by the church, I have a lot to offer to its other members.  Both young, old, and middle, the church is a body.

“12 The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. 13 Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.

14 Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?

18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. 21 The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.”

22 In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. 23 And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, 24 while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. 25 This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. 26 If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.

27 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.”

1 Corinthians 12:12-27 NLT

I know how cliche and overused this piece of text can be, but in all things that are cliche, there’s a reason for that.  Things are cliche because they are so useful and practical.  Let’s say that I am a thumb (I once had a friend describe me as a thumb. I didn’t know how to take it).  If I was a stubborn thumb and decided that I was only going to watch out for myself and do thumb things, A. I would not be able to accomplish anything, B. The rest of the body would be seriously inconvenienced.  So often we get caught up in ourselves.  Not normally in some evil way, but often we get so concerned about being stretched too far, or not being able to come through with something we say we will do.  Why was I originally super weirded out by pledging along with the church to bring children up in the way of the Lord? Not because I knew I would be a bad influence, but because I may not be around forever.  I may be somewhere else, and someday not know that kid from Adam.  But the pledge was not “I will do everything in my power to look out for this kid,” but instead “We will.”  On Sunday, I made that pledge on behalf of the congregation.  Am I currently a part of that congregation? Yes I am, but wherever I am, that church will still be looking after that child.  New people will come and go, but God’s plan for His church is forever.  God’s church is like a car, it has a ton of parts.  Sometimes these parts need fixed, sometimes these parts need replaced, and sometimes parts get added that have never been in the car before, but with the steady hands of a great mechanic, that car will run like new.  As long as we are holding to God’s steady hand, the church is going to keep trucking along.

We need each other.  Every individual person has something to offer. I have something to offer, and if you’re reading this, you have something to offer as well.

Much love.

-MC

in the midst of… domestic violence

Over the past few weeks, domestic violence has been an issue that has come up over and over again in the media largely due to a few NFL athletes and the league’s widely-believed to be mishandling of the situations.  So I thought this would be a good time to write what follows.

Domestic violence is wrong. There is seriously no excuse for it, and honestly, there’s not a whole lot of things that we can do to stop other individuals outside of ourselves from taking part in the vicious cycle, but there is something that we can do to affect the culture.  So, here’s a few ways we can positively affect our culture to potentially prevent this abuse.

Stop blaming the victims. I am sick and tired of hearing people say (especially regarding the Ray Rice incident) that the victim (usually female) should not have been doing this or that, and that nothing would have happened if she had just controlled herself. I was listening to the radio a couple weeks ago when a female caller said that she (Janay Palmer) was asking for it because she pushed him (Ray Rice) first.  A couple things: 1.Rice spit on her at the beginning of the police video. 2.That does not give Rice a valid reason for the haymaker that he threw.  There is never a reason to throw a punch at your wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, anything.  Seriously.

Set an example. Guys, we have been put on this earth to teach each other.  For twenty-one years I have watched my dad love my mom so much.  It’s not like my dad is a wuss or doesn’t “wear the pants” in the relationship, but my dad knows that God gifted him with something awesome, and he treats her like it.  Maybe I am spoiled (I probably am) in this way, but what if every kid growing up had at least 5 examples of a husband who treats his wife with respect?  What if people kept those vows they make when they get married?  You want to know why I feel like men should respect their partners? Because I have seen time and time again that success in relationships (marriage and other) starts with a mutual respect for the other person.  In the Author’s Note of one of my favorite books, Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller writes:

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.

How can anyone know how to love their spouse if they have never been around people who live that out?  Nobody learns how to play basketball by going into a gym and picking up a ball and trying over and over again till it works, at least, not anyone who is good at basketball has done that.  So, as men, we need to love our wives, mothers, and sisters, and bring those around who don’t have that example.

Take this issue seriously. For myself, this is the hardest section to write.  So often, I have taken lightly the need for female equality and the respect that they deserve.  Honestly, I think it is because it was never really an issue in my sight.  I knew that women were deserving of my respect, so these were obviously meaningless jokes, right?  Well, since then I have realized, both gracefully and ungracefully, that this is not really a laughing matter.  Not everyone is from the same sparkly background that I was blessed with.  To many in our culture, this is no joke.  *Writing to the world now as someone who needs much improvement in this way*: we need to better ourselves for the sake of the world.  Women have use to us other than sex, cooking, and cleaning.  You know that joke about how women should be in the kitchen, it’s not funny anymore.  Frankly, there are a lot of amazing, Christ-centered women out there who can kick my butt and probably yours too.  We should no longer write off the possibility that women can do things as well as we (men) can.  Who knows, maybe men will be better because of it.

Ok, rant over.  Now I’m going to bring a little scripture into play (after all, God’s word is infinitely more credible than I am on this matter). Ephesians 5:25-33:

…love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

A self-respecting man shows respect for his wife.  God has given us a gift.  We should love like Jesus loved us: giving up our lives for each other.

in the midst of the chaos… love like Jesus.

-MC